Mom Leaves Baby with Alligators on Purpose
April 29, 2010 § 1 Comment
Any mom who has ever dropped her baby off at daycare for the first time knows just how big a lump a human is capable of forming in her throat. It’s the kind of lump that comes from sadness, yes, but also guilt, fear, anguish and a special kind of panic that only happens when you’re the one who is responsible for being brave.
As I was walking back to my car after dropping Hiram off at daycare for the first time last fall, my head said this to me:
“If you’re going to trust this amazing little soul to someone besides yourself, you better be doing it for a good reason.”
At the time, it was easy to say, “Of course, my full-time job is a great reason to leave my kid at daycare.” It was also easy to blame my boss or some horrific project when I didn’t feel up to leaving him behind.
Today when I dropped him off, Hiram screamed like I was handing him over to a flock of chomping alligators. The lump came back in a really big way. But I still left him there and came back here to do what I want to do. Now, there’s no one to blame but me.