Fair to Compare?
July 22, 2011 § 3 Comments
Here’s something I want help with. I want to teach myself not to compare my kids. So far, I have found this to be nearly impossible. Let me illustrate with a comparison of my pregnancies.
With Hiram, not comparing was easy. Obviously. He was my first baby and everything was new. He was strong and healthy and his pregnancy hit me like a ton of bricks. “I’m here mama!” he said from the very, very start.
Then came Baby Baby, who I only had for a short time. Baby Baby was small with an extremely gentle soul. Baby Baby made me worry before I knew anything was wrong. Baby Baby was the opposite of Hiram.
e-Lou? e-Lou is different still. e-Lou doesn’t give me much to worry about but keeps me guessing all the time. Am I pregnant, or not? Is there a heartbeat, or not? Are you kicking, or not? Physically, e-Lou is easier than Hiram. Psychologically, e-Lou is harder.
See? Poor Hiram. He’s the benchmark. Which is a little unacceptable. What did he do to deserve to be a benchmark? He was born first (not his choice) and he’s got a sibling on the way (also, not his choice).
I’ve already decided to (try to) stop comparing out loud (at least in front of Hike). But how can I stop my thoughts? Is this possible? Is this even a rational goal?
So mammas and papas, what do you think? Do you compare your kids in secret or out loud? Does it matter? Does it get easier once your baby’s actually born?